Weight, Weight, Don’t Tell Me!

The stop-and-go-then-stop-again-ness of this afternoon prompted me to take a break from the numbers and indulge in some words. As much as I’m grateful for the contract extension, there are days when unemployment would be preferable to cleaning up all these troublesome dregs of projects, you know?

I’m a bit hesitant about getting back into writing, probably because I plan on covering the most cliché of subjects one can discuss shortly after New Years: my health. No one’s interested in my new-found respect for my body as a temple, blahblahblah; I am aware. Still, the need to commit my actions to virtual paper, to get it out of my head and list it properly so that I may return to gauge my progress is a strong one indeed.

About a month ago (pretty much the last time I was around these parts) I decided, not out of any sense of obligation to a resolution, that I wanted to be a better looking 45 year old than I was a 42 year old. And if I was ever going to achieve this, I’d best get started now. The one other tiny matter pushing me to make some positive concrete changes in my life is the Sword of Damocles my GP hung over my head back in December: the possibility I would have to start taking cholesterol medication.

I’m already tossing back two pills each day for my hypertension, pills I’m hoping will be deemed unnecessary once I’ve got six months or so of consistent exercise under my belt, so you can appreciate that I wasn’t looking to add more to the little pile I’ve been accumulating. We talked about how I really only have two of the seven or eight risk factors of heart disease and he said he’d just like to keep an eye on it until my next appointment in April. I said I was going to try to get back to my Boot Camp class and hopefully it would result in me losing a few pounds and improving my cardio/lung function. He agreed and I left the office feeling hopeful. Then the same wheezing that caused me to opt out of the fall session returned compliments of a touch of H1N1, requiring me to use a new puffer and lose another few weeks. At that point I was pretty much resigned to waiting for the Summer Session, and began thinking of ways to better prepare myself not to suck royally and bring shame upon myself when I take my third run at the program.

Then it occurred to me: my temporary office digs are located in a tower at the heart of downtown. Located on the 11th floor of a federal building, all the offices require card access and are not open to the public, making for a terribly quiet work environment. Not that I mind, don’t get me wrong: the fewer people I encounter in any given day, the better! Four years of dealing with the great unwashed group of snotty-nosed kids and their asshole parents in the Financial Aid office at the local community college effectively cured me of the need for any further social interaction. It was on the way to the washroom one day that I realized I could do cartwheels down the entire length of the hall in my underwear with slim odds of anyone happening upon me; why not take advantage? The next day I brought my Skechers to work and did a few cursory laps around the floor. I measured the distance around using one large stride as a metre and calculated that 18 laps would equal approximately one kilometer. So ‘One k a Day’ has been my aim for three weeks now. The only day I didn’t accomplish my goal was the day I walked in my riding boots and developed some pretty painful friction blisters.

A few days into this regime I was reading about the ways you could inject a bit of exercise in your day without even really noticing, and they mentioned taking the stairs. Well, there’s no damn way I could manage 11 flights out of the gate, especially when you weigh in (heh) a winter coat, chunky boots, a purse, a lunch bag and my bag o’ crafts that also contains my inside shoes (I liken it to a 10-pound pack). What I did was schedule an initial 5 flights just before lunch in order to boost my metabolism for the day’s largest meal. Did it suck? You betcha! I had to take a seat on the top step and timed my recovery time at five whole minutes – it actually angered me how far and fast I’d backslid since opting out of Boot Camp. The positive side of the anger was it spurred me on to continue, and I’ve worked my way up to the seven flights I now climb every day.

I’m feeling better, but my BDD won’t allow me to be objective in front of the mirror, especially in my face. So, aside from that vague offering I’ve got nothing.

To those of you who exercise regularly: what the hell is this Endorphin Rush or Runner’s High I hear about? Do any of you experience that? I sure as hell do not! At the end of my exercise session I am red-faced, gasping, stinky, crabby and tired; basically, everything you want in a woman. Please feel free to chime in with your comments, because I’m really trying to understand if it’s something I’m doing wrong or if I’m simply genetically programmed to be Schmoo 2.0.

And a-one, and a-two

Oh boy, am I old.

My two favorite songs today are compliments of Luba (“Every Time I See Your Picture”) and Howard Jones (“No One is to Blame”). Those of you out there feeling the need to Google those folks or look them up on iTunes, don’t bother. I highly doubt you’ll appreciate them as much as someone who was there when they came out, right in the midst of their turbulent teenage years. Tracks from the Soundtrack of My Angst, they are.

Why don’t we attach to music like we did when we were young and impetuous? Or am I just speaking for myself? I mean, I can still get worked up over a particularly emo alternative song before the first chorus, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I don’t imprint on it so that 20 years down the road I can say, “Oh yeah, that takes me back to my brief stint with the engineers at the locomotive plant.”

As I watch my passion for music atrophy, as I become slowly more dead inside, I remain grateful that I’m still able to well up with pride, collapse in a fit of giggles, get my groove on or take a moment to remember long lost friends when I hear certain tunes. In some cases, I’m amazed at how vehemently I respond when I hear the first strains of ‘Erotic City’, our Grade 13 theme song. Or ‘Hurts So Good’, the song serenading me as I boogied lap after lap at the roller rink. I even continue to think well of ‘Comfortably Numb’, even though I now have to work to push the memory of a particularly sad break up out of my mind before I can settle back and enjoy the later image of me reclined in my first car, staring at the full moon overhead while parked in my laneway. I contemplated the newness of college life and my good fortune to have encountered such wonderful new friends, some of whom have continued to enrich my life in the 20-plus years hence.

Perhaps that should be a resolution? Shall I attempt to revive those earlier emotions, exposed and raw, ready to attach themselves to my being in the most potent way? More reliable than a lover, healthier than any drug, could music once again truly feed my soul? Is it even possible?

This has been a Holidailies entry.

…and, we’re back

This morning dawned crisp and bright in my little corner of the world for the first time since December 30. The fruits of everyone’s late Sunday night snow blower labours finally cleared the way for kids to wait for buses and parents to brush 23-odd inches of the white stuff from their vehicles.

I chose, instead, to sit at the laptop with my first coffee of the day, watching the world gear up for the official start of another year. My 2010 remained in limbo, as I was unsure of my status at The Company. Once 8:30 rolled around, I put in a quick call to the IT Help Line (what a joke, I was on hold for 22 minutes), hoping they would inform me my profile was still active. It was, and after another quick call to my boss I found out that aside from my signature on the paperwork, I was good to go until the end of March. Now, I realize I gave you the good news a number of days ago, but as The Mister and I like to say, “I’ll believe it when I’m standing in the middle of it.”

So, with a wave to the pups and my inside shoes tucked away in my travel bag like a schoolgirl, I was off. Once at the office, I realized with horror I’d forgotten the headphones for my iPod Inara. I cruised the office and finally Justin was able to fork over a set from his Drawer of Extraneous Technology. Originally meant for his cell phone, these headphones are odd in that they consist of a two-inch length of cord on the left with a normal right side. It didn’t take more than two minutes for me to work out that being the owner of a bra greatly increased my ability to use this apparatus. My only hope is that the heat generated by nestling Inara against my left breast isn’t bad for the battery. At least I’m able to catch up with my Adam Carolla podcasts.

This has been a Holidailies entry.